Santa The Big Spender

Advocate’s clients come from a vast array of industries. Each will have a peak season where demand for goods/services is at its highest. Christmas is the peak season for the multi-billion-pound toys and courier industries. Outside the bubble sit Mr & Mrs Claus and their business of manufacturing and delivering presents to children without being seen or heard. Access is gained through a chimney or using the magic Santa Claus Key for modern dwellings. As a non-registered partnership, there is very little information on how Mr & Mrs Claus balance the books.

Using global statistical data as the basis for calculations, the figures below are stated as estimates. We have requested an editorial comment from Mr & Mrs Claus to verify the numbers, but they are currently rather busy.

Annual Expenditure

With the world population approaching 8 billion and 46% of families celebrating Christmas, some 930 million children are expecting a visit from Santa. With an average spend of £80 per child (inclusive of product development, safety testing, manufacturing and assembly) Santa is expected to spend £74 billion this Christmas!

The workforce continues to grow, and Santa now has 200,000 permanent Elves (up from 180,000 at previous audit). Elves are given food and lodgings in lieu of a salary. Based on an annual living cost of £12,000 per Elf, staff costs will be £2.4 billion this year.

Assuming there is not enough snow-free grazing land year-round for all 9 reindeer Santa spends £20,038 per year feeding Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph. Thawed grazing land caused by global warming will be counterbalanced by subsequent flooding. Santa’s magic ensures the business is protected from all force majeure events.

Annual Benefits in Kind

For each home, Santa visits there will inevitably be a carrot, beverage and mince pie. Eager to diversify his palate, Santa will happily try other produce given half a chance! With 930 million children to visit and an average of 2 children per household, Santa recoups £627 million of costs from the following benefits in kind:

£23 Million worth of carrots.

£528 Million in beverages such as milk or sherry.

£76 Million worth of mince pies.

The mince pie calorific content in 1 magical night is enough to sustain 1 adult for 44 million days, that’s 121,181 years.

Hourly Rates

The exact number of miles covered each Christmas Eve is dependent on factors such as population density, birth rates, and the number of children on Santa’s Nice List. On average Santa will travel 370 million miles on Christmas Eve working east to west using time zone changes to give 31 hours of delivery time. To help Rudolph and friends, Santa’s Sleigh uses a MDTe (Magic Dust Thrust engine) and RAGs (Reindeer Assistance & Guidance system) to keep Christmas on track. Santa and the Reindeer will consume:

3 Billion calories per hour for Santa.

15 Million carrots per hour for the Reindeer. That’s 945 bhp (brake horsepower) generated each hour by the reindeer. MDTe provides the rest.

1.5 Million litres of milk/alcohol per hour for Santa. Think of it as 2.8 million pints!

£2.4 Billion of presents delivered per hour.

Historical Costs

Santa is believed to be about 1,741 years old. Assuming Santa first picked up the reigns aged 20 he’s spent £132 quadrillion (that’s three zeros longer than a billion) over 1,721 years. Breaking that huge number down we can see he has spent to date:

£128 Quadrillion on presents.

£4 Trillion on Elves in lieu of salary.

£34 Million on reindeer feed.

After deducting income of Benefit in Kind over 1,721 years of £1 trillion that is a net expense of £131 quadrillion since Santa first started delivering presents on Christmas night.

With over 2,700 mortal billionaires on earth, their total combined wealth is £9.6 trillion. That makes Santa 13.6 times richer than the combined wealth of all billionaires! He is 1.6 times richer than the combined global GDP (Gross Domestic Product).

Good Will

Every year Advocate recovers payment from thousands of debtors. We’ve come across every kind of business you can think of…but Santa remains strictly off limits!

Real Numbers in Perspective

£1 Hundred-thousand £100,000

£1 Million or £1,000,000

£1 Billion or £1,000,000,000

£1 Trillion or £1,000,000,000,000

£1 Quadrillion or £1,000,000,000,000,000

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